2 days and counting

here is a little update...

Everything is falling into place and the stress level of what is necessary to be not be full functioning for at least 2 weeks is done.  6 - 8 weeks of rehab and no heavy lifting and physical therapy to make sure that I get all of my range of motion back.  Oh and going through puberty again.  Over the next weeks, I get my expanders filled.

I don't know if I have explained what is going to happen during my surgery.   But I will try.

Basically Dr. Levy (BS) is going to go in and remove all of the breast tissue in both breasts as well as go into the lymph nodes and test them to see if the cancer has spread.  Then Dr. DiBello (PS) will go in create a pocket in my pectrol muscle for temporary boobs called expanders.   He will insert the expanders into that pocket that he created and remove a muscle underneather my armpit area to create area for the expander to sit on.  This muscle he is going to remove is not use in normal people's bodies.  He said unless I was a professional rower I would use that.  I don't seeing becoming a rower in my 40's LOL.  These expanders have a port to be filled over a period of time.   He will fill it with some saline right away but it won't be fully filled for a while.    I will go back to him over several weeks to get filled over a period of time to continue to increase the pocket to hold the real implant.  I will have my surgery on Thursday and stay in the hospital until Saturday.  Once I am released on Saturday, I will have 4 drains in place to help with the healing process. 

The one thing that killed me is that the doctors telling me that I can't do something is very hard.  I know that I have do what I have to do to get better, but for someone to tell me that I can't do something just pissed me off.  Because my mom and family have always told me I can do anything.  So I am going to take that statement and use it at I won't quit for me and my boys.  And do whatever is necessary to get well again.

I do feel the love and support of all of my friends and family.  Even older friends that I haven't seen in a long time.  I received a phone call from one of my clients.  Funny thing is that this client was my family for 8 years.  I left the organization because it just wasn't the right fit for me professional anymore.  The worst part of leaving there was leaving my family that I came to love and respects as part of who I am.  My client told me that she let the people in that organization know what is happening in my life and she said that they wanted to come and see me and that if there is anything that I need just let them know.  It is quite overwhelming and very humbling.  I definiately feel the impact I have made on people's lives over time.  And it is come back for full force. 

People have asked me if I feel overwhelmed and actually I do not.  All of my responsiblities are taken care of and the burden of that has been lifted off of my shoulders.  I can focus on resting and getting better to fight the rest of this battle. 

I still feel that I have made the best decision for me and my boys to start this fight.   I do know that this is going to be a rough road ahead, but it is a good decision for me.  Some might not feel that way or wonder why I am doing this to myself and not going down a different road.  But one thing I have learned about having breast cancer is that everyone's treatment is different and also a very personal decision.   We all have to be tested to see where we are with regards to our cancer and some of us have to have chemo.  Some of us have to have radiation.

 But I have come to the conclusion, that having the "ANGER" boob removed so that tissue is no longer there and to have the other one removed just in case something was missed.  And follow it up with chemo and most likely radiation.  I have decided that this best course of action me. 

So continue to say your prayers and send good thoughts over the next couple of days.  It is going to be rough for me to be away from my babies for almost 5 days which is going to seem like a life time but they are going to be very good hands and well taken care of.   Mom, Mike and my aunts and uncles are going to be helping so much with me as well as the boys.  And you have to love Ms. Betty she is going to take Joey and make sure he is well taken care of.   Mom is going to be taking care of me and Aunt Carmen and Uncle Joe is going to take care of Jason until Friday and then they go to their dads for a couple of days.   So don't forget to call Mom or Mike and give them some support too.

Ok TTYL

Jenn