Well it is 18 days since I had my surgery. I have to say that it was a very trying recovery period. I am very grateful to have my mom and family, but not being able to be independent and have to depend on people. That was very very hard for me. But I did it and now I am on the mend. Friday Dr. DiBello took out the drains and it was very liberating. He said everything is looking well. I start my fills on April 2nd. He is away for 10 days so that is why I can't start sooner. I still have to set up physical therapy, a follow up with Dr. Levy and then a meeting with the oncologist (Dr. Bierman). I already set up to get at least 4 fills for all of April. Not sure how many I am going to need but at least that is scheduled. Every Monday morning, I get to get experience puberty and have my foobs grow. Now that the swelling is going down my foobs definitely look like I am 12 again. Little bumps. ;) I actually don't need a bra but I did go out and buy a sports bra to have the compression still to keep the swelling down because they are still healing. The whole area just feels weird. I am not sure if it because I was so compressed and packed with bandages for 18 days in the surgical bras or because of the swelling has started to go down. I know that under my left arm I did have more swelling than other side and now that the drains have come out that swelling is almost gone that area feels so much different.
This weekend was the first time I could drive in 18 days. That was a very weird feeling also. It was very nice to be able to just get up and go. Saturday I went over to field maintenance day at our baseball field, even though I couldn't help with the physical stuff but I wanted to be there for support. It was a beautiful day to be out and the boys were able to play at the playground after they helped. Sunday was our first practice. I am so excited to be back at baseball. It is one of my favorite time of the year. Joey went over to Betty's and played in her yard. Jason did very well, he was a little rusty with some of this things, but you can tell that other stuff has stuck. I know he is going to do well this season.
I am going back to work tomorrow. I am very excited to get back into the routine, but also a little scared that I can do the whole day. My body is still recovering and this weekend after going out and just that little bit of stuff I did, I needed to lay down and relax when we got home. I know that if I start to feel this way at work and tell my boss he will let me go home, but I really want to try and hold out and see how I do. I am guessing is a waiting game. Will update you guys on this one.
Another weird thing that happened today, I put on a shirt today that I was a little big for me before I had my surgery and I had to hang it back up because I don't have anything to fill the top out anymore. That was a really weird thing to look at in the mirror. I have a feeling that I will tend to weird lots of baggy shirts for a while until I get over looking in the mirror. I am not upset about it, I just don't think it looks right. Since my bypass surgery, I haven't like what I see in the mirror with no clothes on, but always liked the way I looked in clothes. Now I have to get over not liking what I look like in clothes for the time being. I know it is only a temporary thing, but that is something that I have to get through.
The visit with the oncologist is weight a lot on my mind now. Because what he says is the next step to my treatment. I know I am strong and I am going to do this with everything I have. But again it sucks that we are at the unknown stage once again. We do know the surgery removed the cancer and the lymph nodes are clean, but what is the next step to make sure that the cancer stays away. I really hated being out of work and not feeling well. I just hope that we can do the less treatment as necessary and get on with this.
A friend of mine contacted me during my recovery about working with him on a benefit to help raise money for breast cancer research. He has a band and wants to get people come to see them but during this raise money for breast cancer research. It not only has hit him directly as his mother was diagnosed over the summer, but we have a couple other friends in our circle that have been diagnosed. So I am looking forward to helping with this and hoping that I will feel well enough to not only help as much as possible but attend. I believe that this is going to be something that I am going to become very passionate about. So all of you who are reading this, keep you eye out for information about this benefit it is going to be a great time for a great cause. We are going to look for a different organization that is locate other than Komen to see who can we real help on a personal level. But definitely for research!!
Well TTYL
Jenn
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