2 down 2 to go

Ok mom told me that I was lacking in my communications lately.  Just been either busy or sleeping trying to get through the treatments.  So far so good.  Have had two treatments and the first two treatments went ok.  The weekend after my treatments have been rough but I have been able to get through them.  By Monday I start to feel normal again with just feeling tired but able to push through. 

My hair started to fall out on day 17 after my first treatment so I texted my girlfriend and asked her to shave it.  It felt much better than just waiting for it to fall out like hairballs.  I do have a sampling of wigs, but I have chose to just wear my hat most of the time.  The wig bands just itch too much.  My hats don't look too bad.  I still have some peach fuss but it is slowing coming out.  I am thinking by week two of this treatment I will not having anything.  I just hate looking like a cancer patient now.  I know I have been a cancer patient since December but it never showed.  I never felt sick.  Now I have both.  UGH!!!  Oh well it is just a sign that I am fighting the cancer and winning.  The hair will come back. 

Oh there is a little update.  I will write more as we go into the 3rd treatment.

Thanks again for all the postive thoughts and prayers. They are truly working.

Love you

Jenn

4 days down

Wow I thought I was going to be ok but last night was really difficult.  They said after all of the pre drugs that they give you start to wear off you could feel like you had the flu and start to feel the effects of the chemo drugs.  I was feeling ok up until last night.  Tired but nothing I couldn't deal with just relaxing and taking a nap here and there.  Still feeling that way.  Hoping that I can make it through a work day tomorrow.  Well shall see.  If not I will just come home and relax.  Work has been so wonderful working with me through this.  

Well I have never had the flu but yesterday night definately felt that way.  Chills, sweats just plain old feeling shit.  But went to bed and woke up this morning feeling a lot better.  I am hoping that was the worst of this for this treatment.  Funny people say that you might want to eat.  I am having the totally opposite effect.  I want to eat everything.  Making sure that I am drinking too. 

So now we just wait until the rest of the effects start.  Maybe maybe not.  Time will tell. 

Just a small update on how I made it so far.

TTYL

Jenn

First Chemo Treatment

Ok I survived my first chemo treatment.  It was rather easy.  Show up talk briefly to the doctor and then find a chair and wait for them to hook you up many bags of drugs.  They first hook up the anti nause meds and then the bendryl and then you get another bag of anti nause meds and then the give you the chemo drugs.  I am doing a cocktail of T/C.   It wasn't so bad except that they come at you with this really big needle and stick it into your port.  Wow it hurt.  Thank goodness I only have to do that three more times.  So you sit there and just wait while the drugs go into your system.  You don't feel anything.   The nurse said that I did very well.  And shouldn't have any problem.  No allegeric reactions at all.  She was very impressed.  Funny thing is that we were talking and I told her about my Gastric Bypass Surgery and that I had lost 145 lbs and mom showed her the progression photo and she couldn't believe it was me.  She even said that the last phone I might have been too thin.  I only was 5 lbs from where I currently am. 

So today we had to go back and get a white blood cells booster shots.  And that really hurt too.  But again it is all doing what is necessary to make the side effects less.  Right now I don't have any side effects accept that I am a little tired.  I can't even say I am tired just feel sluggish.  Was definately a good idea taking off today and resting.  I have spent the day relaxing on the couch.  Taking cat naps here and there but physically feeling ok.  I have been able to eat and keeping hydrated. 

In two weeks we go back and have my counts looked and and then May 24th, we go an have our second treatment.  One down, three to go.  So far so good. 

I am all ready got my wig and lots of hats.  They did say most likely in the next two weeks the hair will start to fall out.  Well hell watch out hair cuttery because as soon as I have the first signs, here we come get the clippers out.  Rocking the wigs.    Oh yea and the last fill of the foobs wasn't that bad but we are getting up there with the cc's and this time I am having more discomfort with regards to the stretching of the muscles.  I guess this is my body telling me that we are almost there too. 

Well there is the update so far.

TTYL

Again thank you everyone for the prayers and good thoughts we are almost at the end the finish line is coming closer!  :)

Jenn  

short update!!

Sorry all for having posting in a while!  Just been busy busy with life.   Well the boys and I are doing well.  We are trying to be back in the swing of things with life in general.  Work and baseballs have been taking up most of the free time that we have.  But loving every minute of it. I love being at work and keeping busy.  Hate having to go to the follow up appts with the doctors and physical therapy.  But a girl has to do what a girl has to do.  Look forward to having this all behind and starting a new me.  Right now any free time I have away from work is running to baseball, being a mom and help my friend Tanya run the snack stand.  I know everyone keeps asking me how do I do it.  Well I love doing it!  It makes me feel alive.  As many of you know I don't do well sitting still for a long period of time. 

Had the port put in last Thursday and that went well.  Still a little sore but pushing through as always.  Have my last weekly scheduled fill for the foobs on Monday.  Then after that I have to schedule two more around the chemo treatments.  Because they don't want to stick a needle in you after they just push toxic drugs through your system until you are on the upswing of your body repairing itself.  Right after the fill on Monday I am headed to Bryn Mawr hospital to have my wig fitting.  That sounds so much like an old lady.  But if I am going to lose the hair I am not going to walk around without any.  That is the one thing I really am going to hate.  And I think worry the most about.  Losing my hair.  Not that I think my hair defines me but I enjoy being a girly girl when I want to or putting on my baseball cap and my makeup. 

I start chemo on Thursday.  They say this first one is the longest (5 hours) of just sitting in a chair and letting toxic drugs run through your body to kill any cancer cells that may be there from the surgery.  I am hoping I am going to be able take some naps.  Because I can't even start to think about sitting there for 5 hours and trying to read.  I am going to go crazy.  But it is for the best.  I am hoping to feeling ok to at least attend Jason's game on Sunday.  I hate missing him and the boys play.  They are doing so well and I am so proud of Jason as well as his teammates.  They really have come together to stay the first half of the season as undefeated.  5-0.  I am so proud of my little man. 

Today is Jason's 10th birthday.  I can't believe my little boy is growing up so quickly. 

Well there you go peeps.  A little update on what is going on.  Keep praying and sending those great thoughts my way.  I still have a long road ahead and I think this might just be the hardest of the journey so far.  We are praying that everything stays on the right track and we can be done treatments by July 4th.  If everything goes according to plan.

TTYL

Jenn

Feeling more normal

Well I am feeling better and in very nice recovery mode right now.  I guess you can say that I am feeling more and more normal.  I am still getting the foobs filled every Monday.  Dr. DiBello is putting in about 75 cc's each visit.  Right now I am about 300 cc's in foob.  And I have three more appts scheduled which will be put me at 525 cc's in each before I start chemo.   I start chemo on May 3rd.  I only have to do 4 rounds which I am very happy about.  But I have to schedule my fills around my chemo.  So hopefully we will be almost done during chemo.   Last week I went and got my hair cut very short because I don't think I am going to be able to deal with my long hair falling out.  I am hoping that it being shorter it won't be as bad.  

Well Jason's Opening Day for baseball was a huge success.  It was very fulfilling and helped keep me busy and focused to recover so that I could fulfill my duties.  Everyone was so impressed and loved the day.  It was so rewarding to be a part of it. 

Now onto treatment and to attend and help out at as many of Jason's games that I can.  I truly love being involved with the organization.  I am hoping that my treatment doesn't put me down for too long or too bad because I want to be there for J and show him my support.  To show him that I am a fighter and stay focused on what is important.  He is doing so well right now and really showing how mature he is becoming as well as a team player. 

TTYL

Jenn

One month since surgery

So it has been offically 1 months since my surgery and everything seems to be going well.  Back to work and very happy to be there.  Have been to physical therapy 3X so far and have to go 2X a week.  It seems to be working too.  Not as tight I was in the beginning.  I get to molest my breast to loosen the muscles around the expanders and they have me doing a lot of home exercises to stretch the muscles out. 

I got my first fill today.  It was one of the weidest feelings.  I actually felt the saline going into the expander and also because it has folds in there since they are not full.  I actually heard it unfold.  Again another weird sound from the foobs.  LOL   Well I go back every Monday until they are done.  I started out with 150 cc's and then put 75 in today.  I have no idea of how much they are going to have to put in.  But Dr. DiBello said I will wind up with a full c to d cup.  Crazy huh.  They took off sagging B's and after this is all over I will wind up with perky C - D. 

Going on Wednesday to see the general surgeon to see what is involved in getting the port put in for chemo.  Another surgeon.  Boy I am going to have a road map of scars.  But it is all good.  Now we are on track to have to this all taken care of and get this over with. 

TTYL
Jenn

First week of work done!

First week back to work.  It was so great to get back into the swing of things and back to work.  I know there were a lot of people that were worried about me going back to soon.  But it was a very good thing for me.  I need to be there for sense of being.  My work is a very big part of who I am.  It makes me feel like things are normal.  Even know I know that they are not but it helps.  Every day around 3:30 or so I would start to feel tired but I was able to finish out the day. Just got to bed very very early this week.  I didn't have any problems sleeping this week.  :)

So I have a lot doctor appointments scheduled in the upcoming weeks, but it is all going to be worth it the end.  I saw Dr. Biermann (my oncologist) on Thursday with mom and Franny.  They really liked him which made me very happy that I chose him.  Dr. Biermann did inform me that I will have 4 rounds of chemo.  Which is 12 weeks total, this is a great news.  The less amount of chemo that you can get.  That make me very happy.  With regards to radiation, that will be determined at a later date.  the radiation oncologists are on the fence with regards to patients that had a mastectomy that if it is necessary or not.  They are leaning on the side of yes.  So again if it then it is just a part of treatment.  The more preventive measures we take the better we are so that we beat this forever.  I am not ready to give up on anything and let this win.  No way.   I start physical therapy on Monday afternoon.  I am kinda of interested to see what they do with regards to breast reconstruction physical therapy.  I am able to more my arms for the most part but it still hurts to do somethings.  The weirdest feeling is what started this morning.  It is a pinching feeling in my boob area.  Dr. Levy said that was a good thing, that the nerves are healing and repairing themselves.  April 2nd I start getting the foobs filled.  That should be an interesting watching every week the foobs grow.  That is a very weird thing to see in clothing right now.  Being flat chested.  I can't even remember being flat chested.  But I am right now but it is all temporary. 

Well when I saw Dr. Biermann we had to go into the treatment area and that was very rough.  The patient advocate was talking to me and said something very true.  She said your feelings are different than your attitude.  I do have a very positive attitude, but I also have very true feelings. And they come out and I do break down sometimes.  And watching these other women sitting there hooked up to bags of toxic drugs was very emotionally.  Thinking that in about a month that is going to be me.  I know I am going to have a very emotion deal losing my hair.  I really didn't care about losing my breasts.  I guess because they where not health and I didn't know what was happening it made me very relived to have them gone.  But to have to lose my hair because of the drugs that I have to take just to make sure that we got all of the cancer as well as help with it not to come back.  Scares the shit of me.  Sorry but yes losing my hair scares me and not feeling well and consistent tired feeling scares me.  I just want to make sure I can get better and I know this is the one way.   

Again I will try and keep everyone update.

TTYL

Jenn